In a survey conducted by the National Domestic Violence Hotline in 2014, 2,500 hotline callers were asked about their experiences of domestic violence. In response to the question, “Do you think your partner or ex-partner has ever deliberately done things to make you feel like you are going crazy or losing your mind?” nearly 75 per cent answered positively. And in response to the question, “Has your partner or ex-partner ever threatened to report to authorities that you are ‘crazy’ to keep you from getting something you want or need?” just over 50 per cent of callers answered “yes.”

🔗 thelawyersdaily.ca

As family lawyers, we see many strong individuals openly weep in our offices. They share with us their confessions of failure, regret and vulnerability. We guide them, console them and try to provide tailored legal strategies.

But sometimes, we are tempted to step outside the moral comfort zone. Sometimes, our own clients demand unreasonable results at the expense of the opposing party.

🔗 thelawyersdaily.ca

The Honourable Justice Chappel, Yunjae Kim and David Frenkel will be presenting on October 7th, 2022 at the Ontario Bar Association, Annual Bread and Butter Issues in Family Law. Yunjae and David are excited to share their Canadian Family Law Quarterly paper on Separation Date Principles and Assessment Guide.

🔗 oba.org [PDF]

Given this context, it may be time to check your spousal support order or agreement and see whether it can be varied in light of these economic uncertainties.

🔗 thelawyersdaily.ca

Believe it or not, there have been hundreds of court decisions over the last few decades where judges had to decide when a couple separated. People went to court and spent tens of thousands of dollars for a judge to determine whether a relationship broke down on a Monday or a Friday. June or July. 2017 or 2022.

And why so much litigation on such a trivial issue? The answer is not so simple.

🔗 canadianlawyermag.com

Clients regularly entrust them with their most intimate secrets, too embarrassing to share with even their closest of confidants.

They regularly share stories of being cheated on, rejected, abused and financially devastated. Their legal advisers come face to face with despair and unimaginable pain, which at times can take their breath away. This special breed of lawyer is obliged to navigate complex mental health issues that correspond to the current upheaval, and often historic childhood traumas.

And yet, divorce lawyers are not psychiatrists, nor are they trained therapists or counsellors.

🔗 thestar.com

While some trials have a team of lawyers and articling students, many lawyers, especially in family law, do it alone. I still wonder how these lawyers record the testimony while also eliciting it. At many points in the trial, I found it difficult just to keep up. Even as the lawyer who was not conducting the cross, capturing the information as accurately as possible was not an easy task.

🔗 thelawyersdaily.ca

If you graduated from law school in 2020, you did not have the opportunity to enjoy either an in-person law school graduation or a call to the bar ceremony, and it feels like we have suddenly become lawyers without time to look in the rear-view mirror.

🔗 canadianlawyermag.com

In all the classic Christmas Hallmark movies, the holidays are portrayed as a time of constant happiness with families getting together, the snow always sparkling and everything working out in the end.

In the real world, that is not always the case.

🔗 thelawyersdaily.ca

From the point of view of a retired competitive gymnast, and recently licensed paralegal training now as a legal assistant, I have had the most unexpected realization — that family law gymnastics was more than just a cliché. In fact, I have discovered similarities that I hope others in my profession would find interesting and helpful, just like I did.

🔗 thelawyersdaily.ca

Covid-19 has brought about changes to the way that family law lawyers and law clerks run their practice. Some changes occurred because of the pandemic (e.g. reduction in paperwork) and some just happened along the way such as the amended Divorce Act. Many of these changes have been helpful, some challenging and others are currently evolving as we all try to forge ahead during this new and uncertain reality.

🔗 ilco.on.ca

One may argue that the threat of a cost award is enough of a deterrent. However, it is not. The reality is that the vast majority of cases are settled prior to trial and in those situations, litigants just want the bleeding to stop regardless of how it started. As a result, the individuals starting the frivolous cases are rarely penalized.

And if the case does go to trial, the amount of the cost award almost never covers the expenses incurred and time lost.

So is there an alternative? There may be, but it would take courage and resolve to challenge the status quo in a thoughtful manner.

🔗 thelawyersdaily.ca

Family law court decisions have started rolling out in Ontario and across the country in response to the Superior Court of Justice’s Notice to the Profession, released March 15, relating to non-child protection matters.

The relevant part of the notice is as follows: “Only urgent family law events as determined by the presiding justice, or events that are required to be heard by statute will be heard during this emergency period, including: a) requests for urgent relief relating to the safety of a child or parent (e.g., a restraining order, other restrictions on contact between the parties or a party and a child, or exclusive possession of the home); b) urgent issues that must be determined relating to the well-being of a child including essential medical decisions or issues relating to the wrongful removal or retention of a child.”

🔗 thelawyersdaily.ca

Faced with unreasonable and aggressive tactics by an ex-spouse, sometimes one has little choice but to respond heavy handedly.

In Marriage Story, Driver’s character did just that. Otherwise, he stood to lose custody and an opportunity to be significantly involved in his child’s life.

However, what is often not discussed is the alternative — the alternative to not respond in kind but with understanding and compassion.

🔗 PDF backup

All in all, the father was left with essentially nothing, despite spending years in litigation and likely hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees. The troubled son will likely continue his rebellious ways and be left without a family and without a real home to come back to.

Even for family law lawyers, this case is appalling and simply a tragedy, where the legal system failed to provide a child a chance of forming a positive relationship with at least one of his parents.

To do nothing cannot be the best option. Rather, perhaps a novel approach should be tried by learning from the lessons found among the carnage.

🔗 thelawyersdaily.ca

Mind you, I am a family law lawyer and very far from a poet; but, if I can just persuade one person to produce their financial disclosure and minimize unnecessary litigation, the following poor attempt at rhyming may just be worth it.

🔗 thelawyersdaily.ca

Although it may cost a few thousand dollars, counselling may actually save clients thousands more in legal fees if, as a result of positive therapy, they are able to make more rational and sensible decisions while fighting with their ex-spouse in court.

The benefits of therapy, mental stability and controlling impulsive behaviour in the context of family law cannot be overstated.

🔗 PDF backup

Because retirement is much sooner or has already happened in grey divorces, that requires a change in these support agreements.

“The extra challenge [for lawyers] is crafting and drafting an agreement that takes that into account,” says Frenkel.

Frenkel says medical benefits of spouses are often a consideration in these cases because many insurance providers will have provisions to cover a former spouse as long as they are not divorced.

“When you’re drawing up your agreement, you should be cognizant of that [stipulation],” says Frenkel.

🔗 lawtimesnews.com

Their first realization was that the people at the bridal show likely discounted the well-known statistic that divorce and separation affect approximately 50 per cent of all relationships. More importantly, among the 50 per cent of breakups, the details of many of those are simply heartbreaking. Those heartbreaks often result from entitled individuals making unreasonable claims. There are many examples in family law court decisions.

🔗 PDF backup

Opioid Addiction: Proactively Addressing Legal Concerns with Child Custody by Lisa Gelman and David Frenkel

Sex Addiction and Evidence in Canadian Family-Law Courts by David Frenkel

🔗 amazon.ca

These emotions are the undercurrents that often are ignored when attempting to settle matrimonial cases. They are forgotten as couples and their lawyers fight about custody, support and property division issues. But is it wise to pass over these hidden issues?

Basic psychology tells us that individuals are regularly influenced by the interplay of thoughts, emotions and behaviours. “I’m bitter because you chose to sleep around behind my back” can translate into “I am not budging from my position of wanting the highest level of spousal support from you.” “I am angry at my wife’s parents for ruining our marriage” can result in “I want to have joint custody no matter what factors are evident from the family history.”

🔗 PDF backup

The waiting room in our family law firm is an interesting place. The men and women that come in for the first time often have this aura of embarrassment about them. They divert their eyes. They shift in their chairs. It is almost as if they are hoping that we, the lawyers and staff, do not realize that they will soon be talking with a complete stranger about their failed relationship. They fill out their intake forms, wondering “How did I become just another statistic?”

🔗 theglobeandmail.com

Challenges children face include suffering repercussions from bitter divorces and self-esteem issues that can lead to depression, drug use and suicide.

Family law lawyers and other professionals, such as the staff at the Children’s Aid Society, see how these ailments affect our communities.

Consequently, it may be time to have a conversation about whether we as professionals could utilize our experience and knowledge to teach and warn children before the harmful effects occur.

A paradigm shift in the way we approach the above challenges may be necessary since these dangers are real and not simply confined to poor and marginalized communities.

🔗 lawtimesnews.com

According to Conan O’Brien, scientists announced they have located the gene for alcoholism and that they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.

🔗 thelawyersdaily.ca

According to Newsweek magazine and other sources, Harvey Weinstein is en route for “sex addiction” therapy. Weinstein is now part of a growing list of celebrities that have relied on this rationale to explain their infidelities. Those other celebrities include Charlie Sheen, Rob Lowe, Tiger Woods, Anthony Weiner, Russell Brand and, ironically, Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols, among others.

As a family law lawyer practising for more than 10 years, I have met many clients who have suffered unimaginable pain and embarrassment from their spouse’s infidelities that included sexual addiction. My job as their counsel is to always ensure that their emotions are validated but also to advise them how the law and the rules of evidence apply to their particular case.

🔗 canadianlawyermag.com