My Divorce Journal

My Divorce Journal: A Guided Path to Moving Forward

by David Frenkel & Pat Butler

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My Divorce Journal

 David Frenkel & Pat Butler My Divorce Journal


Anyone whose marriage or common-law relationship has ended usually feels bewildered and adrift. “Just what on earth happened to me and how can I make sure it doesn’t happen again?” they wonder. Both authors have personally experienced divorce and its repercussions and have gone on to find love again. Building on David’s legal knowledge and Pat’s personal experiences, they look at divorce from both sides of the desk: a divorce lawyer seated opposite a distraught client. This book walks through the five recovery stages that follow relationship breakdown: reacting to upheaval, managing logistics, taking care of your children, navigating your feelings, and moving forward.

Pairing My Divorce Journal with a blank writing journal creates a road-map to your new, fulfilling future. By exploring your pain, yearnings, and priorities with refreshing candour, your guided path to moving forward will come into focus. The written exercises will keep you grounded and engaged during this exhilarating process. The worksheets you periodically complete will show how much you’ve already accomplished.


My Divorce Journal: A Guided Path to Moving Forward is a top of list guidebook for separating and divorcing parents. Step by step, with compassion, it walks the reader through the divorce recovery process providing valuable information and practical suggestions to assist with a soft landing.

— Barbara Fidler, Ph.D., C.Psych., Acc.FM – clinical development psychologist working with separating and divorcing families and providing training to judges, lawyers, and mental health professionals

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Pat and David’s book. Having spent my career helping people heal as they move through difficult transitions, it is refreshing to see a book that offers readers the opportunity to deal with their challenging and often confusing emotions through honest self-reflection. I can promise you that the five stages of recovery that the book takes you through, as well as the questions and exercises, will offer readers a journey focussing on hope and healing. Most importantly, it creates a path forward that will lead to positive change. As with any journey that involves healing, the work is hard, it is personal, and it challenges us in the most difficult of ways. Pat and David’s book reminds us that the destination of our healing journey is in our hands and for me, this has always been the single most important reflection: we determine the path and ultimate destination of our individual journeys. Pat and David have shown courage in using their own experiences to act as guides and help ensure that the journey they take you on and destination offers peace and hope. For those that are looking for healing after the difficult experience of divorce, it is a journey that is well worth embarking on.

— Mahesh Prajapat, B.S.W., M.S.W. – former Chief Operating Officer for Toronto Children’s Aid Society for over 5 years and owner of Onwards Consulting, a practice helping organizations improve in their operational and strategic plans

A thoughtfully written and unusual blend of factual information, empathy, compassion, optimism and practical how-to and how-not-to that will undoubtedly assist those navigating the upheaval and trauma of separation and divorce.

— Irwin Butkowsky, Ph.D., C.Psych., Acc.FM – child psychologist and parenting assessor specializing in the area of marital separation, divorce and family breakdown

In My Divorce Journal, David Frenkel and Pat Butler provide a roadmap enabling the reader to navigate the difficult road through separation and divorce while maintaining both financial and mental health intact. The customized exercises empower the reader to make correct decisions at a time of vulnerability, when helpful direction is most required. Read this book through all stages of your journey.

— Murray Lightman, LL.B. – founding partner of Levitt, Lightman, Dewar & Graham LLP, retired family law lawyer practicing for 41 years and appearing in all levels of court in Ontario

David Frenkel and Pat Butler have written a powerful book around the emotional experiences of a divorce as well as important educational information. The writers have provided practical and helpful tools to encourage self-awareness and to equip those going through a divorce to make informed better choices and to help themselves engage self-care and see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is a helpful book to those embarking on the daunting emotional terrain of such a life altering experience.

— Seema Jain, M.S.W, LL.B. – accredited family law mediator/arbitrator, parenting coordinator, Children’s Lawyer and Dispute Resolution Officer at the Superior Court of Justice

Book Details

  • Publication date: April 20, 2022
  • Binding: paperback
  • Pages: 220
  • ISBN: (print): 978-1-7780452-0-2
  • ISBN (ebook): 978-1-7780452-1-9
  • Authors: David Frenkel and Pat Butler

About the Authors

David Frenkel David Frenkel is a practicing lawyer in Toronto, Ontario with an exclusive focus in the area of divorce and family law. He holds a bachelor of science and of law from the University of Windsor and his keen interest in psychology complements his ability to guide his clients through the most difficult periods of their lives. David genuinely enjoys helping his clients address their legal and emotional needs and values their progress and triumphs. He lives with his wife Amy and children, Lia and Lucas. You may contact him at

Pat Butler Pat Butler holds a bachelor of science in mathematics and psychology from McGill University and earned a master of education from the University of Ottawa. After teaching high school physics and mathematics, Pat joined the world of industry, specializing in writing manufacturing procedures—think Dove soap. Following retirement and divorce, she published an embellished memoir (using a pseudonym) about her transition from the devastating end of her 41-year marriage to the beginning of new marital bliss. She lives in Toronto with her second husband Eric. You may contact her at